Parents and the law...(help me)

[TensidedHope]

My father is in a frantic email war with me about my 3 yr old sons weight, he's at 28lbs 39.5 inch at 3.5 yrs old. We have been vegetarian for the last year and vegan for the last 6 months, raw on and off for that time as well, my son still eats cooked rices, quinua, oatmeal and sometimes waffles.. no dairy, no soy, .. he is also coping with seperated parents, a new father figure, a new home, a new baby, and a few school programs I have pulled him out of.

my dad is DEMANDING i take him to a doctor, i have avoided mine because they really pushed me about milk and animal products and vaccines.. With the economy taking its toll on my husbands business we have no health coverage except for state for the kids. And no extra cash for a "medical professional" as my dad needs to feel better about my son and my lifestyle, he is threatening to use the rights he has as a grandparent in the state of CA.
He will pay for it, but im having an issue with submitting to his frantic demands, and would like to hear some experience from long time raw foodists about children. Hes full of energy, gets lots of park time, but he was sick most of october after starting a nursurey school my dad payed for till i refused to keep taking him to a lace that sent home a dif disease weekly nd i had other complaints about their philosophy in action...

heres some of whatt he is sying:


Hi,



I am extremely concerned about Aaron and it is up to you Nora to relieve that concern.



Aaron only weighs 28 pounds. On every chart (Color [PDF - 83 KB] , Color [PDF - 68 KB] , Color [PDF - 34 KB] ) I have seen that matches age or height or Body mass index to weight he is below the 3rd percentile. (I did not measure his head circumference- which is another indicator) That means that 97% of all children his age are heavier than Aaron. By any definition Aaron is suffering from Failure to Thrive a very dangerous condition for his continued well being. He should be seen by a qualified medical person as soon as possible.



While you, Nora may believe that you are providing enough nutrients with whatever food you are giving him, the results say otherwise. The condition has continued for over a year and has gotten worse. He is lower on the charts than the last time I measured him in April. I implore you to take this seriously and take action now – find someone today that you trust to evaluate Aaron and give you guidance. If you can’t or don’t have the time, ask me to and I will ß You know my doctor Dr. Elson Haas is a nutritionist and doesn’t believe in milk why not start with him).



It is that important that you do something now. Waiting is not an option, every day Aaron is so far underweight is lowering his chance to recover and lead a good healthy life.



Please don’t let this note go unanswered. If you disagree – let me know and be prepared to back it up with real knowledge from real people. Convince me that a kid who is 20% less than the 3 percentile level for his age and height and Body mass is doing just fine and do it soon, because I am not dropping this discussion until you convince me and I will escalate it beyond just notes.



It is that important.





Sincerely,

BA



and today:

Why the notes you ask? Why copy your mother?



Because when I talk to you directly you take it as an attack on you and this is not about you. It is Aaron that is in trouble.



The results for the past year as I see them are:

1. Aaron is not socialized
2. Aaron is not in a learning environment
3. Aaron is under the bottom weight for thriving





These are areas I have tried to help with. In each case you have rejected my help and even resented it.



1. Socialization – I suggested for many months that you do something with Aaron and we would pay for it. You didn’t do anything and I took it upon myself to put him in summer camp.
2. learning environment – well we know what happened here – you found the school a burden and not supportive of Aaron.
3. Failure to Thrive – The last doctor visit I attended with you the doctor said Aaron was under the weight chart and needed to be seen again in three months. You did not follow through with this and instead became even more adamant about the food going into his body.



These are some of my concerns that you have not addressed. You could address them by proving to me that what I think is wrong. – Like convince me that being 20% under the 3 percentile is OK.. Instead you say you don’t believe the charts apply to him. BTW – he is under the 3 percentile figure for 3.5 years old not just at the 5 percentile figure you said in your note. The first step is to recognize reality – Aaron weighs 28 lbs that is below any line on any chart I gave you. He is in trouble and only you can take care of it.



I suggested Dr. Haas but I don’t have the same confidence in his pediatric skills as I do with his adult care. I have no experience with him on that level and my one conversation (Last year) indicated that he didn’t see children.



I feel more in alignment with the Heart- to Heart center lady. I would think you would too. I say get an appointment with her as soon as possible and meet her and discuss Aaron, your food philosophy and get feedback. It is important that you select the medical professional that you will listen to. I am not paying for anymore things that you don’t agree to from the beginning. You make the commitments and then we will talk about how to pay for it.



So I am ready to move past reasons for not producing the results to action to produce the results necessary for Aaron to thrive.



.

Sincerely,


Any advice, im looking at peds i like but seeing huge fees for assesments. i kinda do feel attacked.. but more unnerved
_________________
Ten Sided Hope
"be the change."

[kmeldrum]

Hello.
My advice is to take Aaron to a medical doctor right away. His failure to thrive may be due to many factors. Without a doctor's thorough testing, you have no way to know

If Aaron is truly in the third percentile for his age group, that is cause for concern. He may need help right away.

Your dad's doctor might be a good choice. There is also the True North Health Center in Santa Rosa (707) 586 - 5555, which is a group of vegan practitioners. Wherever you decide to take him, he needs to be seen by a medical doctor as soon as possible. He is in a very formative stage right now and getting help immediately could be critical.

I wish you and your children the best.
Karen

[TensidedHope]

i have messages out to a few local places..

what kind of help do we think he will get immediately?
_________________
Ten Sided Hope
"be the change."

[kmeldrum]

I really don't know what type of help he needs. I'm so glad that you are taking action, though, and I hope you find the help you need.
Karen